As spring break arrives, I find myself looking for something to kill my boredom. Forsaken World somehow found it's way to my screen. 3 hours later, I was a vampire, born into a world of chaos and doom. My mission was to save the world with other creatures. I was to help old Henry with his troubles 10 times a day, and clear the dungeons from evil monsters 5 times a day, and most of all talk and hangout with my "family". That's how it all begin. Virtual friends, virtual hugs, virtual kisses, and virtual fights all happening within a matter of minutes.
People act like they knew me for their whole lives, and we would have adventures together. Running through the desert saving the world. The feeling that somehow we matter, that we are important, that we are wanted, the mountain top feeling that life fail to offer. During my adventures, I met some very interesting characters. I met a young man by the name LinkleStriking, he's a 23 years old pop star residing in Kuala Lumpur. He has plans to move to Hollywood in the near future and study music. He spends 12 hours a day in-game, and have a crush on a beautiful elf by the name of BelaEva. He would spend most of his time waiting for her to come online, so they can have virtual adventures together. I wanted to tell him that his feelings might not blossom due to the nature of the relationship. But I could not bring myself to tell him such harsh truth. Most people in MMORPG lie, whether it's their age, gender, location, occupation, or looks.
Most women tend to provide fake pictures acquired from the internet while most men would lie about their occupation. Both gender lied just as much when it comes to age and relationship status. How would I know? Simple, when facts don't match up. Take my pop star friend for example, if he is who he claim he is, he would not be able to hold a job with his gaming habits. Imagine him going 2 months straight without his game while on a musical tour. That is not possible because addicts don't just stop. If I have a dime for every pop star, model, and doctor I met in MMORPG, I would own half of Europe. Deriden is a dwarf I encounter on one of my virtual adventures. He is a college student majoring in animation. He is polite, flirty, and always tries to be the ladies man. His opinions are usually neutral and his speech polite. We talked on skype right after our virtual adventures. He wanted to give me a virtual cuddle and virtual hugs after meeting me for 2 hours.
In real life, none of us would give a stranger the time of day. But in a virtual world anything is possible. We would think twice about hugging a stranger let alone cuddling them. Yet because it's all in letters, most of us felt like it's okay. Fake people show up both online and in real life. Deriden was a kind young man, but if you know him long enough, you'd begin to wonder if he have feelings, opinions, dreams. Though the relationship may seem close, I knew nothing about him aside from what he wrote on his facebook info page. Playing pretend was hard for me, and it reminded me of my childhood years pretending to own a restaurant while using video tapes as food and a couch as tables. I have to stop pretending when play time was over. While pretending I was a successful restaurant owner, in the back of my mind, I know I can't cook, the food was nothing but tapes, the customers -- imaginary.
MMORPG made imaginary play more vivid, socially acceptable, and addicting. So many people I met online are lonely and desperate. The social pull was there for me, but not strong enough, I did not feel like connecting with people I know nothing about. Though life is tough, it is manageable. While virtual world for me, was playing pretend. And I can't help but notice I'm trying to sell an empty promise to myself. Trying to convince myself that this world is better than the world I was born into, that people in this strange land needs me to save them, and most of all I'm actually a Vampire who won't truly die.
While talking to my "family" I met an assassin by the name of Manky who has acquired massive virtual wealth for himself. He comes across as controlling, arrogant, rude, insensitive, and have a knack for insulting others. He would brag about his achievements awaiting some sort of complement in return. I saw him as a good test subject to test my knowledge on personality. Though it is inhumane,I won't be able to pull it off in real life without some sort of repercussion. He surrounded himself with mystery in order to gain control of every conversation. He would be in every line of my conversation even though I was not talking to him. When I refuse to give him control by pretending to be curious about the information he withheld, he would quickly bring up another subject and shroud it with more mystery. It is possible that he is doing it for attention but I can't say for sure.
He was doing it over and over again in our conversation and I've decided to confront him. I told him what I noticed and he quickly took it as an attack. He quickly went about trying to insult me as I predicted. When I refuse to give him a reaction after his insult, he heap more insults on me trying to get a response. It became very funny for me as I was able to predict his every move. I would imagine he was very angry. I antagonize him further by stating that he has a state of mind like a child. He was definitely a narcissist -- an angry narcissist. As they say, if you don't control your anger, it'll control you.
MMORPG can be a relaxing experience for some. I've known people who played MMORPG without getting addicted. But I've known more who make it a reality for them. But there are a few of us, that just fail to see it's grasp. I can't imagine choosing a world filled with monsters, evil bosses, and death over a world filled with people who see the good and the bad in me, people who truly cares for me despite my lack of "virtual blink", people who can be honest with me. Over the course of 4 years, I've been into many man-made worlds filled with treasures and secrets ready to be discovered. Among the hundreds of people I met, only two of the relationships I have survived until today. Even without the game, we are able to talk about life and share our feelings. Honesty is one thing you will not find in MMORPG, if you do, hold on to it.
