6.4.2011

   It doesn't take a person long to realize no one in this world deserves all of our trust. We hide pieces of ourselves in the name of self preservation. Coming to terms with the fact that no human being deserves our complete trust can be painful and often times frustrating. This week has been stressful, the boys upstairs were getting more and more retarded probably due to their unattended hormones. At the same time there has been a lot of "little things" that pile itself up and before long, it's a mountain of shit.

   Life sucks. Most of us try to find a reason to live, but few of us wonder if there is anything that we would die for. I have no illusions on the troubles and pain life has to offer. At the same time happiness is found in small glimpses that usually comes in short, flitting moments.

  Contrary to popular believe, religion is one of the dumbest thing to ever lay your life for. It's like enlisting in the army but worst, with the army, at least you've seen Obama. Enough 'bout religion, today is a different day, rather depressing. Having people come up to you with their unsolvable problems, endless cycle of self deserve/ self created problems is exhausting. I never got the courage to tell them that I can't give them what they need. They need professional help, not me. I have a life, I have feelings, just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I have a great day and you should start telling me how many times your mum call you a retard.
 
    To be honest, I simply don't care. It may sound harsh and cold, but I'm a person not a sounding board. If you need someone to solve your rather complicated issues please seek professional help. Yes I might sound like one once in a blue moon. Just because I take a few psych classes doesn't mean I can help you. Someday I might just snap and tell them to screw themselves who knows, maybe that day is tomorrow.

   I've ran out of patience and kindness with the boys upstairs. I've tried to solve our problems in the most diplomatic way. But I guess talking doesn't work with brainless morons. I have to go upstairs and ask them to lower their volumes "nicely" while they treat us like crap. I don't understand what being nice gives you. I'm tired of being "sweet" and "kind" I'm just going to bust their balls next time if this shit comes up again. Being nice only gets you so far. Yet I still strive to be "kind" I wish I am more evil and cruel, life would be so much easier.